Ginger Music

Wow it has been a while since I "blogged" I blame San Francisco and the amount of activities I am "forced to take place in" I also blame Illness.

But don't worry, I return with the start of Ginger Music... music I love that I think you should hear, because I'm not very humble, and I will say straight up I have great taste in music...

My most recent discovery also happens to be A GINGER.. so its a double win for Ginger Music!

FLORENCE + THE MACHINE
This Ginger located in England... has style, soul, and an incredible voice!
Must listen to:
Drumming Song:
Louder than sirens Louder than bells Sweeter than heaven And hotter than hell
Blinding:
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

... actually I could list the entire album, its fantastic!!! I would say the most mainstream song is "Dog Days are Over" it rocks too!
ENJOY!

Ginger Snap of the Day

Nothing completes missionary quite like some dip

While lounging on xtina's rooftop recently for a BBQ our friend K begins to explain her old habit of chew... no not gum, tobacco.

And I quote, "We used to go on the deck and chew some dip. Then we would do it missionary style and high five a lot" 

... Wonder how the high fives would work if they did it doggy style? 

Ginger Snap of the Day

My proof for the importance of skipping class...

Tonight, upon checking my email, I saw a letter from my professor explaining why he cancelled class at the last minute on Tuesday. Conveniently Tuesday was the day I chose to skip...

The best part of the story is that this is NOT the first time I have skipped class on a day when showing up would have been a waste, only to be sent home.

I love how the universe works.. OH SNAP!

Ginger Snap of the Day

Today I find myself relating to the late comedian, Mitch Hedberg...

Mitch:
I got a “Do-Not-Disturb” sign on my hotel door. It says “Do Not Disturb”; it’s time we go with “Don’t Disturb”. It’s been “Do Not” for too long. We need to embrace the contraction. “Don’t disturb”; “Do Not” psyches you out. “Do”: “Alright, I get to disturb this guy”. “Not”: “Shit! I need to read faster!”

Me:
There is a sign on the fridge at work that says there is a Cheesecake waiting for people to consume it. "Cheesecake in pie pan, help yourself" I see the big word Cheesecake and get all excited, that is until the smaller font catches my eyes, "Sugarless"

That's right.. SUGARLESS CHEESECAKE... who in their right mind would do such a thing?

Snack time FAIL.. Oh SNAP!

RoadTrip memories

This summer I took a cross country road trip 2 of my girls and my car aka cougar. 

The trip did not lack in memorable quotes and odd road signs...

Wisconsin

1. A church billboard in my hometown reads "Have you ever seen a U-Haul behind a hearse?" (note to self, put shoes in will) 

2. After becoming grossly aware of the number of churches in a small wisconsin town, Lauren states, "well if there's nothing else to do, you might as well go hang out with God!"

Illinois

1. After a night of clubbing in Chicago, we jumped in a friends jeep to head to the a-bar-bar. From the back seat Nicole yells, "Hailey, could you roll up your window a little bit? This is one sic-ass moon roof!!" 

2. On our way back to the burbs after a full a-bar, Nicole gets lost at the oasis, yells out to a random guy in a striped shirt, "What up STRIPES!!" 

Missouri

1. We packed a cooler for the trip, and made little picnic stops, this particular one, we parked in a lot by some apartment complex. Lauren and I laid down a towel and sat in the grass. Meanwhile Nicole was making sandwiches and doing all the work, and shouts out "Do one of you homos want to grab a knife?!" 

2. Hotel receptionist in Lake of the Ozarks, "This may be an odd question, but are you a partier, or not a partier?" If you are asking if I want to sleep tonight then do I answer not a partier? 

3. Also in the Ozarks they had a "party cove" we decided to use this as our new slang term for vagina. 

Oaklahoma 

1. Great speed limit (75) except the insane tolls every couple miles. 

2. While filling up with gas and deciding where to stay for the night, a friendly truck driver informs us that Oaklahoma City is a bad place to stay. (they do like bombs there) 

3. Road Sign "Do not drive through smoke" ??? 

Texas

1. Upon entering texas the sign for the visitor center says 100 miles (by then we are already halfway through north Texas)

2. Apparently in the south they really love Jesus, My favorite spot the "Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center" complete with scripture written all over the gas pumps

3.  Three stir crazy girls in a gas station in rural Texas always ends up well... very narrowly escaped a sexual harassment charge. While we were in line to pay, we saw little things that looked like 5 hour energy drinks, except the slogan was "TRUCKERS LOVE IT" "EXTREME SEXUAL EXPERIENCE" Poor kid behind the register, my repetition of these phrases made him uncomfortable. 

Cashier: Why do you keep saying it?

Me: Extreme sexual experience? its Extreme 

4. Nicole was more entertained by the jerky and beef sticks "THey have their meat on display! All you have to do is pull it!" (that's what she said) 

New Mexico

1. Road Sign: Gusty Winds may exist... emphasis on the MAY. We don't know for sure, but be on the look out! 

2. The bouncer in Albuquerque doesn't think my passport looks like me, after seeing my other ID.. he claims there are 3 different women staring at him.. hrmmm

Arizona

1. Grand Canyon, "We can just eat some pot cookies, lay out and look up at the stars!" 

2. Photography in Motion... post pot cookies, taking pictures wall jogging up to a look out point, didn't turn out as well as we'd hoped! 

3. Nicole still doesn't get what is so grand about it

Ginger Fantasy

I'm excited and proud to announce my 2009 Fantasy Football Team!!!

I am on an all girls league, we had our draft last night... while they stole most of the packers from me I still managed to get a large green and gold showing.

First Team
QB: Aaron Rodgers
RB: DeAngelo Williams
RB:Thomas Jones
WR: Andre Johnson
WR: Roddy White
RB/WR: Willie Parker
TE: Jermichael Finley
D: GB Packers (what 12 turnovers in 3 preseason games.. don't mind if I do!)
K: Ryan Longwell

Bench!
QB: Eli Manning
QB: Joe Flacco (it was taking an average RB or a good QB... eff it!)
WR: Lee Evans
WR: Torry Holt
RB: Donald Brown
TE: Dustin Keller
D: Tennessee Titans

Get ready for Team Ginger domination!

Ginger Snap of the Day

Grammatically Correct

Below ensues an intense Gchat conversation between me and my bestie, regarding our love for grammar:

Christina: ya my friend ned and his friend nick who's dad's yacht it is who is taking us on labor day

Christina: whose

(gotta love my ocd on my own grammar correction)

me: no

who is, is write... right

hahahaha

Christina: hahahaha

me: whose is like belonging

Christina: no it's not...

Christina: friend nick who's dad's yacht

me: NO thats wrong

Christina: nick, whose dad's yacht.

Christina: that's right ha, so ur saying i was correct the first time i wrote this "friend nick who's dad's yacht"

me: ohhh

Christina: and i think it should be whose

me: i was looking at the who is later in the sentance

Communication FAIL... Oh SNAP

Ginger Snap of the Day

So sorry for the delay! If only San Francisco didn't have so many fabulous things to do, I would have more time to sit on my computer and write!

In my household, the magic 8 ball is a thing of the past. If my roommates and I need to know what to do, we ask Napoleon Dynamite. Click HERE to see what I'm talking about. Our friendly figurine lets us know not only what he thinks we should do, but his opinion on matters that range from politics to fashion. He doesn't always have much to say, and "Tina you fat lard, eat the FOOD" doesn't always translate to fashion statements.

Recently however, Napoleon has been so spot on, it's getting a lil creepy. Last night my roomie and I were talking about 3 somes... Just a general girls talk, typical stuff... If we would do it, would it be 2 guys or 2 girls.. etc.

So then the question arises, what does Napoleon think of 3 somes??

to which he replied, "GROSSSSS!"

Internet Dating FAIL

While I have canceled my subscription to match.com, I'm paid through the end of the month... thank goodness for that, otherwise I would have missed this GEM!

(names,locations, and other personal information changed... poor guy) However.. I did leave all the formatting, misspelled words, and commas... this kinda shit can't be faked

From: Bob

To: Ginger

Date received: August 19, 2009

Subject: (none)

Dear g/r
Hi , I did find your profile from Internet, and then after reading it , I decided to write you, My name is: Bob , i wish to meet you if that is ok with you,, I am working as president/owner of a service company , in xxxxxx ,I have large ,two storey luxury Townhouse , in a good ,and safe area of west xxxxxx , it is overlooking , a heavily wooded ravin , and also is close to a very large shopping mall , I am 5'11" with my shoes, and clothes on , , and weight 185 lbs with my shoes ,and clothes on , I am caucasian , light skin, dark hairs , do not drink or smoke , no drugs ,or tatoos ,or metal rings thru any part of my body, I am always respectful toward others , especially , toward my subordinates ,and females , I attend local Baptist church , I usually do not get mad easily , and easy to get along with , who likes to pet angry Rothwilder ?, and most of times I am a good natured person , I do beleive that I am one of the nicest guys that God has ever made , , , I usually hold no grudge against anyone , have no criminal conviction , I go in, and out easy , I am in good health , exercise regularly , I have pet rabbit , with white pelt, my Hobbies are reading , Tv (national geography ,and discovery ,and History channels are my favorites), Jogging , listening to Rush Limbaugh , and Michael Savage ( .ultra conservitive), eating out , do it your self projects , traveling , ,my office no. is 555-555-1111 .or 555-123-4567 , , , call or e mail me with your ph. no., my e mail is : xxxx@talkmatch.com , Email me your E mail address ,and i will send you picture of my house, - I am single and looking,, no children,but do love children , a child is a man,s imprint on the universe and make him to be extended beyond the grave,, I do want , and wish to meet you ,if you also want to visit me and ,my place ,and xxxxx I can arrange your visit , and if you prefer I can fly out to see you , during your visit i plan to take you and show you around the xxxxx , this would be a discovery visit for you , no disrespectful intentions intendend, to see if you like to live here or not, , you may just meet at airport only if you wish , for the visit To xxxxx , , , , also there are lots of schools , tech school , universities in this area that , if you wish, you may continue your schooling, or if you wish to get job locally , unemployment rate in this Area is 3.8% one of the lowest one in USA , ,i will help you on that too ,more photos is avilable if you send me an e mail i can e mail that to you ,very fast.
write back :
cordially
Bob 555-123-4567

Ginger Snap of the Day

Throwback Wednesday!

When I was an adolescent my father was very strict on what kind of music I could listen to, in grade school he caught me with a TLC tape (Crazy, Sexy, Cool) and followed up with a mixed tape of his own. It included such bands as Kings X (don't know them? shame on you click here), Bush, Chemical Brothers. Today I thank my dad for his musical selections...

I can remember listening to a certain song that had a man singing the vocals, "I could never be your woman." As an adolescent I thought, well of course he could never be his or her woman. The person singing is a man. My imagination would run wild, does this person think the singer is a woman? Does the singer dress in drag?

To this day I have been perplexed by not only the meaning of the song, but the artist. Great Ginger, you say, but why is this coming up today??!!

Well.. today while jamming out to the Girl Talk station on Pandora, I almost deleted my employers website out of excitement when the song came on. I have never been able to find the song, or hear it again, but can always get it stuck in my head even 13 years later. "OOOH I can never be yourrr woman!"

For the last 13 years I assumed this song was by the Chemical Brothers... only to look at my phone and see the words "White Town" under band name...

WHO THE EFF IS WHITE TOWN?!

...This Ginger now admits her musical fail, and her love for a one hit wonder...


Check out the video here!

Ginger Snap of the Day

FOOTBALL TUESDAY

I don't want to give Benedict Brett anymore media time, but as a Wisconsin native.. I had to say something.

For those of you live under a rock Brett Favre just signed with the VIKINGS (click here)

A little Benedict Brett (<-- click that shit) History: 

1. retired from the Green Bay Packers (cried, held conferences, cried, fans cried, etc) 

2. whine, changes mind, said HEY I still want to play 

3. whine, and sign with the Jets 

4. whine, retire again 

5. whine, decides to come back.. to who? it's still up in the air, but maybe MN 

6. whine, decides to stay retired 

7. whine, secret flight to MN... signs with... THE VIKINGS 

17 years as Green Bay Packer, 17 years of a HUGE rivalry between the Packers and the Vikings... This would be more of a kick in the balls to fans if we didn't have Aaron Rodgers :) finally... I have to shout out to Ashton Kutcher for laying it all out there, be careful guys.. he is FURIOUS (CLICK FOR A FURIOUS ASHTON)

OH SNAP!

THANK YOU

Shout out to Taylor Mathis Photography -- check him out at taylormathisphotography.blogspot.com -- for the help with my banner... the pic is great!

MORE TO COME READERS :)

Ginger Snap of the Day

Monday!

I recently saw the trailer for the new Quentin Tarantino Film "Inglorious Bastards.
There is something about the way Brad Pitt says "killin' Nazis" that turns me on. Which leads into the snap of the day.

How Mr. Pitt stays the hottest man in the world baffles me. One would think after years our love for Brad would see diminishing returns.. but no, every new thing I see him in, I think.. man he is HOT, it just doesn't end!

I wouldn't mind if every guy looked like Brad Pitt.. and we all had Brad Pitt boyfriends with different personalities. Oh a perfect world

The Misadventures of a Ginger backpacker

What’s the difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool? LOCATION

FACT: most women from the Midwest learn how to “pop-a-squat” while proving their drinking skills in high school. Parties in fields, and barns, insert place lacking a bathroom here, force a young and energetic 16 year old to become accustomed to the “drip dry.”

As the band geeking, paper writing ginger that I was, these were not rites of passage I managed to experience. While on my first backpacking trip I discovered I lacked the “pop-a-squat” skill. I disrobed and assumed the ready position. I shifted feet, I changed my angle, and then I got stage fright. I looked over my shoulder wondering what kind of wildlife was witnessing this, laughing at the poor excuse for a mammal that cannot even empty themselve.

After some pep talk, I gained to courage to commence flow. SHIT… that’s my pants, slight adjustment, SHIT that’s my foot… I got to the point where I said fuck it, and didn’t even finish. It baffles me how one can direct the flow of traffic with an innie. Times I wish I had a penis count: 1.

FACT: Despite portraying the myth of being able to hold down a gorgeous loft on barista wages, Friends offers pure fact in “The One With the Jellyfish” you should pee on a jellyfish sting.

Unfortunately for me, the jellyfish sting came AFTER I managed to pee all over myself.

Oh SNAP!

Ginger Snap of the Day

Sunday!

What does a Ginger do on a Sunday morning? Why Irish Breakfast of course!

While washing down some Irish Bacon with Jameson, I read an interesting sign posted behind the bar of the Blarney Stone, it read:
On the first day God created man, then rested....
On the second day God created earth, then rested....
On the third day God created woman, and since then no one has rested!

Why was man created before earth? What did the men do with out earth? Of course I immediately picture a bunch of naked men floating around in outer space. They would definitely have hard cocks.. no one wants to see a flaccid penis. (A flaccid penis with no gravity anyway... hmm would that mean even a flaccid penis looks hard in outer space?)

OH SNAP!

Welcome to Ginger Snaps!

As the unofficial ginger ambassador to the city of San Francisco, I welcome you to Ginger Snaps! What is a Ginger Snap you ask? Why an adventure (or misadventure) in the life of your soon to be favorite redhead. Who am I? Why should someone spend precious minutes procrastinating at work reading this blog? Good question.

You should read this blog if:

1. You are literate
2. You have two thumbs
3. You enjoy laughing at other people's expense… aka mine
4. You love gingers
   

While talking to Xtina, my SF life mate, about an introduction to my blog, I mentioned I should probably describe myself a little. To which she replied, "god I don't think you can put you into words!"

Thank goodness for that… Intro concluded… ENJOY!