This summer I took a cross country road trip 2 of my girls and my car aka cougar.
The trip did not lack in memorable quotes and odd road signs...
Wisconsin
1. A church billboard in my hometown reads "Have you ever seen a U-Haul behind a hearse?" (note to self, put shoes in will)
2. After becoming grossly aware of the number of churches in a small wisconsin town, Lauren states, "well if there's nothing else to do, you might as well go hang out with God!"
Illinois
1. After a night of clubbing in Chicago, we jumped in a friends jeep to head to the a-bar-bar. From the back seat Nicole yells, "Hailey, could you roll up your window a little bit? This is one sic-ass moon roof!!"
2. On our way back to the burbs after a full a-bar, Nicole gets lost at the oasis, yells out to a random guy in a striped shirt, "What up STRIPES!!"
Missouri
1. We packed a cooler for the trip, and made little picnic stops, this particular one, we parked in a lot by some apartment complex. Lauren and I laid down a towel and sat in the grass. Meanwhile Nicole was making sandwiches and doing all the work, and shouts out "Do one of you homos want to grab a knife?!"
2. Hotel receptionist in Lake of the Ozarks, "This may be an odd question, but are you a partier, or not a partier?" If you are asking if I want to sleep tonight then do I answer not a partier?
3. Also in the Ozarks they had a "party cove" we decided to use this as our new slang term for vagina.
Oaklahoma
1. Great speed limit (75) except the insane tolls every couple miles.
2. While filling up with gas and deciding where to stay for the night, a friendly truck driver informs us that Oaklahoma City is a bad place to stay. (they do like bombs there)
3. Road Sign "Do not drive through smoke" ???
Texas
1. Upon entering texas the sign for the visitor center says 100 miles (by then we are already halfway through north Texas)
2. Apparently in the south they really love Jesus, My favorite spot the "Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center" complete with scripture written all over the gas pumps
3. Three stir crazy girls in a gas station in rural Texas always ends up well... very narrowly escaped a sexual harassment charge. While we were in line to pay, we saw little things that looked like 5 hour energy drinks, except the slogan was "TRUCKERS LOVE IT" "EXTREME SEXUAL EXPERIENCE" Poor kid behind the register, my repetition of these phrases made him uncomfortable.
Cashier: Why do you keep saying it?
Me: Extreme sexual experience? its Extreme
4. Nicole was more entertained by the jerky and beef sticks "THey have their meat on display! All you have to do is pull it!" (that's what she said)
New Mexico
1. Road Sign: Gusty Winds may exist... emphasis on the MAY. We don't know for sure, but be on the look out!
2. The bouncer in Albuquerque doesn't think my passport looks like me, after seeing my other ID.. he claims there are 3 different women staring at him.. hrmmm
Arizona
1. Grand Canyon, "We can just eat some pot cookies, lay out and look up at the stars!"
2. Photography in Motion... post pot cookies, taking pictures wall jogging up to a look out point, didn't turn out as well as we'd hoped!
3. Nicole still doesn't get what is so grand about it
